SCAVENGER HUNT

Do it... or else.

I thought it might be nice to start our little adventure together with a simple and enjoyable scavenger hunt! I know... the first blog should be like some sort of intoduction to what this blog will be about, but I thought this might just be a bit more fun. PLUS - you could win a fabulous prize* (We'll get to the purpose of the blog next time, I promise.)

1. A mattress that is not on sale.

2. Tapioca puddding that doesn't resemble puked up rice.

3. The asshole who invented Matthew McConaughey.

4. A gay couple who have been legally married, legally divorced, and illegally married again.

5. Someone who does, in fact, know the way to San Jose.

6. Two snowflakes that look like fingerprints.

7. A girl who bravely puts up with her back problems instead of getting a breast reduction.

8. Three people who don't know each other, but goddamnit, they want to.

9. A way to order a pina colada that doesn't make you feel like a pussy.

10. The one spot on a woman that will make her bark like a dog. No, not that part, the other one.

11. A place you feel spiratually alive without being morally bankrupt.

12. Children that can make a day of screaming seem palatable.

13. The number of times I've said something bad about Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

14. Bill O'Reilly's penis.

15. What time the fat lady's gonna sing.

16. Someone who wouldn't want to see a whale fuck the shit out of a dolphin.

17. This really cool Swatch I lost in 8th grade.

18. One fucking minute of the day that Ann Coulter isn't a total asshole.

19. A way so that when I shave my balls they don't stick to my thigh when it's sweaty weather out.

20. Someone else who's doing this scavenger hunt.

*The fabulous prize is an all expense paid (by you) dinner with me! Sex will cost extra, except for this one chick... you know who you are.

Reading - "My Horizontal Life" by Chelsea Handler

Listening to - "Coco" - Colbie Caillat